Christmas is just around the corner, can you believe it? But the sad reality is that domestic violence will again spike sharply over the Christmas period. Can you believe that? Well, too often, anger spills over during the holidays, so I thought that this week, we’d share in a timely word on anger management.   The Root Produces the Fruit I don’t know if you’ve noticed but when a seed falls to the ground and dies, ultimately it sprouts and takes root. And if it was the seed of a plum tree – we can be pretty certain that the thing that’s growing there is going to one day produce – not apricots, not apples, not pears…..we all know, it’s going to produce plums. Because it’s a plum tree that’s taken root. In fact, the root produces the fruit. It’s just one of those basic facts of life that actually we don’t have to think about. The root determines the fruit. And it’s a bit like that in our hearts. IF our hearts take root in goodness then we’ll produce good fruit. In bad things and we’ll produce bad fruit. In sweet things and we’ll produce sweet fruit. In bitter things – and we’ll produce bitter things. This is not rocket science – right? This week on the program….Want to take a look at the phenomenon of anger in our society and in our lives. Anger is a real phenomenon in the hearts of so many people. Pressure building up in life – people explode. Like a pressure cooker – vent the steam otherwise it blows up. It's the same with people – so many people venting their anger – epidemic proportions. Road rage Supermarket rage Call centre rage In fact, this weeks program is prompted by a real-life experience. Stan the painter. He was doing some work at our little terrace house. Painting a few walls – at the same time, he was doing a big job in one of the wealthiest streets in the country. Huge mansion – special paint $1,000 a tin – unbelievable – houses in the street worth $15-$25 million – mega wealthy. Lots of people having building work done in that street – narrow street – yet great views, massive mansions…unbelievable Been working there for a few weeks now – and he was telling me – "You wouldn’t believe the strife between the neighbours – house I’m working on – 70 year old woman – hasn’t talked with her neighbour for 20 years. Argument over some building work. All the neighbours are fighting… the woman I’m working for – done some work before – but now she’s so mean and nasty and swears." Stand back from that – unbelievable… these people have everything in life – nothing they can’t buy or have or own really… everything their heart desires Yet there’s – well a spirit of anger and bitterness and dissension… Makes you wonder – what’s going on here. We, like Stan and his brother Douk – two Greek painters, lovely people do a great job. Honest as the day is long – wonderful men. How can this woman be so nasty to them? Anger and bitterness has taken root in her heart. That’s why. You let things get to you and get angry with people over and over and over again – like bitterness takes root in your heart. The root produces the fruit. God actually talks a lot about anger – you know it’s a word that pops up 375 times in the Bible – makes it one of the leading subjects. Anger is something that we all have to deal with – and it springs up, out of a root of bitterness. The writer of the book of Hebrews in the NT – puts it like this: Hebrews 12:14-15. Pursue peace with everyone – and holiness – because without them you won’t get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure that no one misses out on the grace of God, so that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble – because through it, so many will be contaminated See – there it is – the root produces the fruit. The root of bitterness takes hold in our hearts… it springs up and causes trouble and contaminates everyone around us. We all have a problem with anger some days – some more than others… the longer we let it go on, the more it takes hold and produces bitterness – and a bitter root produces bitter fruit. A root – is something we cultivate and if we don’t want it to keep growing – have to stop feeding it. Be angry but do not sin – do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not make room for the devil. (Ephesians 4:26) We all get angry from time to time – that’s not the sin – the sin is letting the sun go down on your anger – keeping it in your heart, brooding, planning revenge, going over it and over it and over it and over it… The right way of handling it is just – get over it. Forgive and move on. Then, then we won’t be cultivating the root of bitterness which – sure as God made little green apples – will produce fruit of bitterness. Not something we can do on our own though – I believe we need an antidote to this venom… something that heals and cleanses and just gives us a fresh perspective – let’s go back to that earlier quote…. Pursue peace with everyone – and holiness – because without them you won’t get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure that no one misses out on the grace of God, so that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble – because through it, so many will be contaminated.   Dealing with a Hot Temper Let’s get down to practicalities… dealing with anger, dealing with that rising temper. When someone provokes us – you know they do something and you can feel your blood boiling and you go all red in the face… right at that moment, it’s so easy to spit out something venomous – words that we can’t take back. Words that damage a relationship. People even throw something – do something… Sometimes, when we’re provoked, we can be a bit quick on the draw when it comes to responding. Let me share a story with you: I remember once as a consultant – some years back now - used to run an IT consulting group I was being mucked around by a large and important client of a particular ethnic heritage…..dealing with them for months to try to kick off a project – meant a lot of money – large, global organisation. After months of investing time and effort with the management… they pulled the plug on the project. Received an e-mail from one of the consultants working with me – info about the client – explaining that the organisation had decided not to go ahead. I blew my stack – sitting in my office reading the e-mail – couldn’t believe that they’d wasted so much of our time and resources – not fair – losing so much revenue. I had a few choice sentiments that I almost expressed in reply to that e-mail to my fellow consultant – even typed an angry e-mail… just about to send it I thought better of it and sent a benign e-mail instead. Just as well, I hit the “Reply to All” button and the e-mail ended up with the client as well as my colleague!!! Gulp. Can you imagine – my thoughts of anger included some pretty vitriolic stuff about their ethnicity too. Berni – why are you sharing this with us? Simple – we all go through this sort of thing – day by day. People, organisations, circumstances drive ...

Released on 28 Nov 2021