There are basically two types of love in this world. Conditional love and unconditional love. One belongs to the world. It’s a shallow imposter. The other one belongs to God. It’s the real thing.   Love is a Radical Thing Marilyn Monroe once said: I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you certainly don't deserve me at my best. That’s a cheery thought isn’t it? But it makes an important point. People who are perfect are easy to love aren’t they? They never make mistakes. They never fall short of our expectations. They never disappoint us, or hurt us, or ignore us. Yep – those people are soooo easy to love. Have you ever found one? A perfect person that is … No, me neither. Of course we know that there aren’t any perfect people walking on this planet. We kind of know that in our heads, but that doesn’t stop us from expecting perfection when we go looking for love. And I’m not just talking boy–girl, husband–wife type of love. Friendship is a form of love. Being a parent involves loving. In fact, in a sense, we can interact with work colleagues, associates, acquaintances – either in love, or not. With compassion, or not. With kindness, or not. You understand what I’m saying, right? My dictionary tells me that love is a strong feeling of affection and even attraction. That can be true. Well, it is true … at least in part. At least some of the time. But that dictionary definition falls a long way short of what love really is. That romantic sort of love is easy to have when the person we’re loving is perfect – and lets face it, everybody can be perfect in short bursts. But anybody who’s ever been married will tell you that their life–long soul mate is far from perfect, lots of the time. Anybody who’s ever been a parent will tell you that their children are far from perfect. So, what is love; what’s the definition when people and situations and circumstances and relationships are imperfect – which, let’s face it, they are, most of the time? What does it mean to love someone then, huh? Jesus once said this: No greater love has any man than to lay down his life for his friends. If we stop and think about it, that’s absolutely true. Because in an imperfect world, loving imperfect people, love is all about sacrifice. In fact, I’d like to propose an entirely different definition of love: Love is the decision we make to unconditionally, care for, support and honour someone. On their good days and their bad days. And the fruit of that love is that it develops a relationship that becomes rich and satisfying. In other words, the feelings follow along behind the decision to radically sacrifice ourselves to another person. To put up with their failures. To help them when they’re acting badly, rather than criticise them. To give them the space to make mistakes and still be there for them when they come to their senses. Often times, love is a radical sacrifice that hurts. And when we choose to live out that radical sacrifice, relationships develop that last a lifetime. How’s that for a definition of love? Radical, sacrificial, unconditional love. What would our world look like, if everybody adopted that definition of love, instead of that trite, superficial, inch deep dictionary definition – a strong feeling of affection? Affection is the reward of love; the feeling is the result of love. Love – as you may have heard me say before – isn’t just a noun. It’s not simply something that we have or don’t have. It is also a verb. A doing word. Love is something that we are meant to do. And the doing part of love, is sacrifice. We each would like to think that we would live behind a legacy of love – that when we’re gone, our children, our grandchildren, our friends and wider family – all the people we’ve come into contact with, well be better off, for having known us. It’s pretty natural to want that. But let me tell you, there can be no lasting legacy of love that our lives leave behind, unless we’re living out the right definition of love. And that definition is that love is a decision to make radical sacrifices for other people. And radical sacrifices always, always cost us something. True greatness isn’t about what we achieve. True greatness is about what we leave behind in the hearts of those whom we’ve served. Again, that’s exactly what Jesus said: The greatest among you will be the servant of all. (Matthew 23:11) Can I ask you this – what definition of love are you living out? That shallow dictionary definition or the real definition, the true definition – radical sacrifice? The most beautiful, the most sublime definition of love that I have ever read comes, of course, from the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13. I’ve often heard it read and spoken about at weddings in a lovey-dovey, fluffy kind of way. Have a listen – tell me whether you thing that it’s lovey-dovey, and all fluffy and soft: Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. It seems to me that every part of that description is an explanation of the sacrifice involved in loving. Patience – that’s a sacrifice. Kindness – that’s a sacrifice. Not being envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. Not insisting on your own way. Not being irritable or resentful. Bearing all things, enduring all things. They’re all about sacrifice – a sacrifice that never ends. There’s nothing lovey-dovey or fluffy about any of that. It’s all about sacrifice. The sort of love that God is calling you and me to, is the sort that involves radical sacrifice. The sort that the Apostle Paul writes about in Romans 5:8: But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. My friend anyone who wants to live a life that leaves behind a lasting legacy of love – they need to be living that sort of life. That sort of love. It’s as simple … as that.   Two Types of Love When we’re flat out, busy with the hectic lives we lead, leaving a lasting legacy of love isn’t always in the front of our minds is it? But … ask anyone who has a lot of time on their hands. Some one who’s retired maybe, or living on their own. And one of the things that’s at the top of their list is the significance of their life. What impact have I had? Are people better off for having known me? What legacy will I leave behind when I’m gone? They ponder those questions perhaps more than any others. Funny how our perspective changes as we get older. The less time we have left on the planet, the more the important things really matter. Problem is, when you’re older, isn’t necessarily the best time to start thinking about these things, right? Because by then, many of the opportunities to have a positive impact, to leave a lasting legacy of love, will already have passed us by. And then what? That’s why we’re chatting about this stuff. Because the life we’re living now, today and tomorrow, and next week, next month and next year – is the very life that’s going to determine the legacy that you and I are going to leave behind. And one of the strongest indicators of how good (or not), how powerful (or not) and how long-lasting (or not) that legacy is going to be, is the sort of love that we give to other people. As I said at the top of the program – there are really only two types of love – cond...

Released on 25 Jul 2021